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Can we really miss...
Posted by: HoboSylvain | 2014-12-23 16:39:02 | Cali, Valle del Cauca, Colombia
Keywords: dream to reality
Although I have done (and am still doing) things relatively few people do in their lives, I also did not do a few things most people do and find 'normal'. Recently for example, I've taken my first coffee cups ever just a few weeks ago. But in the grand scheme of things, I in fact did very few things most people do in life, like marry and have kids.

In the period of the year when most people reunite with friends and family, I'm alone once again. This solitude has nothing to do with my travels, it was the norm of the Xmas time for the last 40 years or so. On the earliest of them, yes I was with my mother but there was no celebration whatsoever, nor wrapped gifts.

I am sometimes asked if I 'miss' the family celebrations. I honestly believe we cannot miss anything we never had. So, my answer would be 'no'. Would I like to have experimented that? Certainly. Besides having a hard time with feeling a void and wonder how it would feel otherwise, there's nothing I can do about it.

I would really like to hibernate from December 20th to January 7th. Before I hit the road, I was staying home in my bubble as much as I could. I didn't want to see anyone. Now that I'm travelling, it's harder to do. I've begun renting apartments and I will look into that next year, while taking my month-long break in December.

Many people have told me through the years to go out and celebrate with friends or others to make some good memories to help fill the void and replace bad memories. To be direct, they have no idea what they're talking about, they have no idea how deep is the abyss within my soul. They also show how little they know me, overestimating my social skills (to have friends to hang with) or my fun capabilities.

Having fun is natural for kids, but that can be eradicated by life. In my case, that was done very early in my life. In Latino America, they have a soap drama series entitled 'Lo que la Vida me robó', translates as 'What the life has robbed me of', and that's the way I feel happened to me regarding fun and enjoyment of life.

I do feel the same void inside when I see couples travelling together, the younger they are the biggest the void. I envy them not only to travel at their age but also to do it with a significant other, both things I didn't experienced.

I can miss the taste of maple syrup and poutine, but since I never experienced the things above, I cannot say I miss those experiences above. 
Envy or sometimes curiosity is more what I feel then a sensation of 'missing' them.

So, please enjoy your Holidays if you have that opportunity and know that if many of you envy my life of travelling, I envy your capability to enjoy this time of the year

Related posts:
Reflexions on life and friendship
Am I afraid?
From dream to reality, part 1


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